
I sit now in Los Angeles with a heavy heart. One hour ago, I received news that
Rav Amital, founder and Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Har Etzion had passed away. For the last hour I have been withdrawn, struggling to deal with the loss of someone who made such an impact on my life and that of my family while also struggling with the reality that I will be unable to attend the funeral to mourn together with others who were so profoundly influenced by Rav Amital. My thoughts are somewhat messy but I felt a need to write at this late hour and to pen some of what I, thankfully, have said publicly and some of what I feel privately.
The hespedim (eulogies) in just a few hours will, I am sure, cover Rav Amital's broad sweeping knowledge of Torah, Halacha and Psak. I am certain some will touch on his non-consensus political views and his uber-sensitivity to preventing Chilul Hashem (desecration of God's name). Others will speak about his infectious personality, the singing he led, his humility and his remarkable ability to tolerate and, dare I say, foster, dissenting opinions in Yeshiva and outside. I still find it remarkable, 20 years after leaving the Yeshiva, that he took in Rav Lichtenstein as Co-Rosh Yeshiva and lived in amazing harmony for almost 40 years. I am unqualified to write about those topics so I want to share a few personal stories that, in my mind, tell the story of an uncommon man, whose innate common sense and wisdom, made him the perfect mentor and Rav for the common man.
The first story takes place in 1991, shortly after the end of the First Gulf War. Rav Amital was graciously answering questions from a gathering of about 25 students in the Yeshiva Auditorium. It was a relatively intimate gathering. Truthfully, even though it was my second year in the Yeshiva, I did not have much of a relationship with Rav Amital at the time (today, I am embarrassed that I wasted 18 months before getting to know Rav Amital). There were some standard Halachic (Jewish Law) questions asked and I decided to ask something a little different. I sheepishly raised my hand and asked Rav Amital, "Is there a bigger mitzva (commandment) to live in an unpopulated place in Eretz Yisrael (Israel) such as the Galil or the Negev, Yehuda and Shomron or does the same level of mitzva apply to someone who chooses to live in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem." The truth is that I had only cursorily contemplated making aliya at that time but Rav Amital's answer literally changed the course of my life. He answered in his characteristic charming bluntness, "That is all nonsense (שטויות), come to Israel and set up a factory that will employ 10,000 people who can then earn an honest and decent living and that will be the biggest mitzva of settling the land of all!"
I was shocked by the answer. For the first minute, I thought he did not answer or understand my question. Here was a Rabbi, a Rosh Yeshiva, giving counsel on business and economics as the foundation for settling the land. Then I rethought it and realized the deep wisdom. Man can only live on ideals for so long. Not that ideals are not important. They certainly are. But people need to eat and to work and earn a living so that they can settle the land and we can attract enough people to Israel to fill the land. It is absolutely the Jewish ethos for people to work and for others to provide work for them. At it was an out of the box an answer and unconventional thinking and it was inspiring. At that moment, I resolved to move to Israel and open a factory that would employ 10,000 people. And at that moment I resolved to spend more time getting to know and to listen to Rav Amital as well as to understand his unique common sense Torah wisdom.
The post-script to the story is that I was asked to tell it over at Rav Amital's 80th birthday. In characteristic wit, when I finished telling the story, Rav Amital asked "Nuuu...did you hire 10,000 people yet?" Embarrassingly, I had not and have not, but will redouble those efforts in his memory. I was hesitant to talk publicly about the story but the organizers insisted. However, in retrospect, I am glad that I had the opportunity to thank Rav Amital publicly. That hakarat hatov was another hallmark that Rav Amital imparted.
The second set of stories relates to my attempts to spend more time around Rav Amital. After making Aliya, I resolved, like many other talmidim (students), to go visit him on Purim and Sukkot and I routinely brought my children, who I would encourage to ask questions. On one Sukkot, after prodding one of my sons to ask Rav Amital a question that my son had asked me a day earlier, Rav Amital turned to me and said "leave him alone, let him eat the pretzels."
Again, the common wisdom. Having the kids enjoy themselves in Rav Amital's sukka was better chinuch (education) than pushing them to ask a question and feeling uncomfortable. On every Purim, with many talmidim in his house, he would invite the kids to come sit or stand near them and ask them questions about their costumes. Not what they learned in school and not the megilla but about their costumes. Rav Amital talked to the children about what they wanted and not what he or I wanted. That is a lesson I carry with me in rearing children. It also explained another situation that I once witnessed in yeshiva. Some children were making noise during one of Rav Amital's sichot (speeches) in the Yeshiva. The kids were located in the upstairs women's section and a number of the men downstairs kept shushing them. The kids' noise grew louder and the shushing grew louder until Rav Amital said strongly "I am not bothered by the children making noise. They are doing what they are supposed to do. But I am bothered by the adults turning around and making noise to quiet the children." As I said, common sense. But common sense is really in short supply these days.
The last story of many more I want to tell relates to something that happened just a few years ago. I was asked to join the board of the Yeshiva during a time when the financial situation was challenging. I was very intimidated to sit with Rav Amital and Rav Lichtenstein at these meetings. At one of my first meetings, I took a look at the budget and became worried. Even very worried. I voiced that concern with some level of trepidation. I noticed as I was speaking that Rav Amital cast a disapproving glance at me but was not sure why. After the meeting, he came over to me and said, "You think this is bad? I have seen worse situations and not just financial ones. We need to have emunah (belief) in the derech (way) and the educational framework because if we alter the product (the educational approach), we will not achieve the same results nor will we be true to ourselves." Wow! I thought. Rav Amital had seen worse. He had come through the holocaust, the War of Independence, the loss of students, the building of the biggest Hesder Yeshiva, a stint in politics etc and he was determined to maintain the quality and commitment. To me, this was a lesson in leadership from someone who had decades of perspective and was prepared to stand up for quality and perseverance in the face of pressure. And it was infectious. It was not that Rav Amital was blind to the financial issues but he understood עיקר וטפל. And he was prepared to lead forward. Common sense for common people from a very uncommon man.
I have so much more to say and many more stories. Maybe I will add more later to the blog in comments. Rav Amital was unique in everything he did from leading dancing at hakafot to ensuring succession in the Yeshiva while he was still alive, something that is unheard of in the yeshiva world. He made a tremendous kiddush hashem and blazed a trail in shalom bayit (peaceful relations) for hopefully many more institutions. He taught us all to inquisitively ask questions but, even more importantly, to also live with questions. The ability to live with questions in an era when everyone thinks every answer is at their fingertips in an instant is a life-skill none of his students will ever forget and they will be forever indebted to Rav Amital for endowing this approach.
And today, as Rav Amital is brought to burial in just a few hours, I am sure, we all have more questions than answers. We all have more questions that we would like to ask Rav Amital so that we common people can get common sense answers from a very uncommon man. I will sorely miss his wisdom. We all will.
Yehi Zchro Baruch
יהי זכרו ברוך